TOP FIVE: Manliest Christmas Movies | ManlyMovie

TOP FIVE: Manliest Christmas Movies

By Kevin Fischer

Sure, Christmas is mainly about the kids.  But that doesn’t mean us men can’t enjoy some Christmas celebration in our own way.  Below are 5 of the manliest Christmas movies out there for your viewing pleasure.  So go ahead.  Spike the eggnog, light up your frankincense filled pipe, and sit back and enjoy some holiday viewing the way you’ve always wanted.

5. Scrooged

Bill Murray really tore it up in the 80s and 90s, didn’t he?  That’s also when Scrooged came out, so expect the same maniacal Murray here too.  Essentially A Christmas Carol without the Muppets or CGI Jim Carrey, Scrooged is its own warped take on the classic Charles Dickens tale—an adaptation rightly for adults more than little tikes.

4. Jingle All the Way

Who else really tore it up in the 80s and 90s?  Sinbad, that’s who.  If that comedy icon’s not reason enough to get you to watch this identifiable father-son flick, then maybe you’ll be convinced by the casting of one of the manliest of men out there:  Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Of course, blowing up helicopters and fighting aliens has been replaced with knocking over stacks of presents from end-aisle toy store displays.  But you still get to see Aaaarnold lose his cool every once in a while, and build a relationship with his son.  What’s more manly than that?

3. Gremlins

Before they became clever enough to poison us with lead in toy train paint, the Chinese supplied the U.S. with cute, cuddly pets called mogwai.  Predictive of both the furby sensation and the threat of Chinese products, Gremlins was way ahead of its time in 1984.  Oh and all the terror takes place during Christmas season.

2. Bad Santa

Sex.  Yep.  Alcoholism.  Sure.  Theft.  You betcha.  Bullying.  Why not?  Delivering more cuss words and debauchery than there are gifts in the “12 Day of Christmas”, Bad Santa is a raunchy ride seemingly made specifically for men tired of the sugary, fluffy Christmas films from yesteryear.  Thus, making it a perfect addition to this list.  Needless to say, it is not a traditional Christmas classic you want the whole family to gather ’round and watch.  Unless you’re trying to get them to leave.

1. Die Hard

Bruce Willis + Terrorists + Christmas Eve = Epic flick that will put you in the charitable holiday spirit.  And by charitable we mean a warm donation of fist-to-face to anyone who gets in your way when you scramble last minute to buy a Bath & Body Works gift basket for your wife.  Though Die Hard doesn’t spend too much time rocking around the Christmas tree other than a Xmas party being crashed and the well-known “Now I have a Machine Gun.  Ho-Ho-Ho!” bit, there’s so much adrenaline-pumping action you’ll be permanently put on the naughty-man list if you don’t watch this movie over the holidays.