Clicky

REVIEW: The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013) – ManlyMovie

REVIEW: The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

Run Time: 180 Mins
Rated: R
What To Expect: A montage of exhausting cringe

One of the freedoms of having a smaller niche site is that you aren’t forced to sit around thinking about how to best polish the latest turd that everyone is gushing over, lest you either don’t appease pseudo intellectuals or affect your standing on a site like, say, Rotten Tomatoes.  The truth then. This movie is all show and no go.  For two hours I sat around waiting for Martin Scorsese to actually begin telling a story, only to find that it was just a superficial montage of sex jokes and pill popping.  It’s exhausting crap, don’t waste your time on it.  Hey guys, let’s consider three hours of masterbation jokes for the Oscars.  What does this say about the ‘Oscars’?

The movie follows Jordan Belfort’s life of scamming in the big leagues in Wall Street, reaping huge financial gains.  The movie shows us how he then lived a life of excess.  Problem is, that’s all it does.  For three hours.  His downfall?  Makes up about 15 minutes out of 180.  Some people are calling this a classic, it isn’t.  When you have a three hour movie about a criminal living on the edge, where the FBI get less screen time than the hookers, you have a narrative problem.  A big one.  Some people may be too stupid to see such a problem, not want to highlight it or both, but what it basically amounts to is a three hour Cypress Hill video with a cameo by an FBI investigator at the end.  It has about as much substance as Pain & Gain (2013).  Boring.

Another problem, and I actually Googled this to see if anyone else had raised the issue – they haven’t – use of CGI.  Alright, so your movie has no depth and all you can do is show us a man partying for ten years.  Well at least let us engage in some visual escapism, let us see what it’s like to live like such a rich person.  Well this movie can’t even get that right.  Take the luxurious escape to Italy our millionaire takes… created using horrible CGI backgrounds.  When the man is on his giant yacht – horrible CGI backgrounds.   When they’re in their highrise office, downtown outside is hideously fake.  In the opening even the helicopter looks like a PS2 model.  We can’t even take aesthetic pleasure from this slop.  Intrusive cheaping out.  $100 million – where did it go?  One last problem, the lead actor.  Leonardo DiCaprio, as far as I’m concerned, cannot act.

A tedious and disturbing tribute and love letter from Martin Scorsese to a known felon.  They least he could’ve done was cut it down to two hours.

  • ChrisWhite

    I don’t know IF I should laugh of cry. He gives this solid movie a 5 of 10 and the mediocre Bullet movie a 9 out 10….Pure Comedy!

    • BradyDeez

      I was thinking the same thing…

      ” Leonardo DiCaprio, as far as I’m concerned, cannot act”

      Lmao. Kk.

      • Avenging force

        Then you a prick he’s best actor of the modern age no body comes close,what ever you want Leo gets

    • Mucho Macho

      I’ve always felt Amigo that music reviews and articles had it better in the sense that music articles and reviews were defined by the numerous genres of music that exist.
      Movies however are all thrown in together and judged the same. When I was growing up I loved “Fangoria Magazine” because those writers had a genuine love for slasher and horror movies. Obviously you cannot compare a “Friday the 13th part 7” with “Godfather Part 2” we know which is the better movie but in film you need to distinguish the genre in which the movies belong & what is the objective.

      “The Wolf of Wall Street” is directed by one of the greatest filmmakers of all time and you could tell it was done to win some awards. While “Bullet to the Head” it’s an old school throwback action movie where men talk a lot of shit, shoot a lot of guns and beat each other up. I wouldn’t put “Wolf of Wall Street” and “Bullet to the Head” in the same category of film.

      For example in a music magazine the guy that reviews the Metallica album is not the same one that reviews the Garth Brooks record. The guy that reviews the Tupac album is not the same guy that reviews the Kenny G record, because music is more acceptable as different sounds & genres while movies are all thrown in together.

      Just my 2 cents

      • Jeff

        I’m a huge Fangoria fan! I loved the writing, those guys were hilarious.

        • Mucho Macho

          I love that magazine so much. Growing up I had so many issues & saved them but they got mixed up in a box that was thrown out by accident and to this day it burns a hole in my soul.

      • Avenging force

        Hope metallic don’t sue 👌

  • BradyDeez

    “A tedious and disturbing tribute and love letter from Martin Scorsese to a known felon.”

    The guys involved were portrayed as complete scumbags. You weren’t supposed to be rooting for them…

    • Max Borg

      Well, to be fair, Knight himself has been know to be a bit of a scumbag occasionally…

      • Mucho Macho

        Night is a good dude. We’re loose with the language here because it’s not “Vanity Fair Magazine” and we can afford to be more “Lockerroomish”😀

        I think because of the talent involved one is harder on some films than others. Martin Scorsese has done some movies that I fucking love like “Goodfellas” which I’ve watched like a trillion times, however this movie is not as strong.
        For example in movies like “Goodfellas” and “Casino” you saw gradually how everything was going to shit, however in this movie the ending just kind of came abruptly.
        It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it ( since it came out) and I’ve only seen it once to be honest with you but I got it on Blu-ray for a low price and maybe I should check it out soon.

        • Avenging force

          Stop zig zagging cause some prick dosnt like wolf of Wall Street fuck that if you like. Own it that’s a manly man not defending your every opinion to the crying idiot above you

        • Max Borg

          Good dude? You were obviously not around during the IMDb days. Not to mention, his habit of writing stuff that is factually wrong…

          • Mucho Macho

            I think he is a good guy. We have not always agreed on everything, for example he thinks I’m a Batman fan-tard( and I am by the way😎) but we have always been cool towards each other. I get his sense of humor & I do think some people take his sense of humor bit too seriously or too literal.

            The IMBD forums were one thing but this is his site & if you don’t really like the guy then you don’t really have to be here. I don’t have a problem with you being here by the way, we have not always agreed on things but we’ve mostly been cool with each other and that’s fine, so I don’t have a problem with you but I do have plenty of people who think I’m an asshole and yet read everything I fucking write which in return I always go “If you hate me so much then why the fuck you always reading my shit?!”

            Just have some fun.Take it easy friend.. I gotta go nap, I’m tired as fuck.

          • Max Borg

            I don’t have a problem with Night as a person, just his “I’m better than professional critics” attitude, especially when he writes articles that contain typos, grammatical mistakes and, worst of all, factual errors.

          • Mucho Macho

            We all have an ego, style & personality my friend. Him, me, you.
            You write your articles your own way. He does his thing his way, you do yours your way & I do my shitty thang from time to time as well.
            My “Ozark” piece was killer though..lol 😀✊
            It’s all good. If Apollo and Rocky made peace, who knows, maybe you 2 will one day as well.😂
            Just enjoy it.

          • Max Borg

            So you condone factual errors and libel?

    • Avenging force

      Well tough shit cause I was if people make money by bending the rules good one them,best film in years still laugh at the drugged up fight scene

  • Mucho Macho

    This is the fucking best Leonardo DiCaprio movie!
    https://youtu.be/GYRf_1Cmwio

  • Mucho Macho

    May manly man Alan Thicke rest in peace.
    This show was part of my childhood
    https://youtu.be/DyjmHzYfmWE

  • Mucho Macho

    When I was a kid growing up and as young man I would watch the Oscars cause I was into them, however that all stopped when I saw ” Shakespeare in Love” win best picture Oscar over Steven Spielberg’s “Saving Private Ryan” (or even “The Thin Red Line” for that matter) and I saw big fat mobster Harvey Weinstein go up on stage and gloat.

    • BradyDeez

      I’ll watch them if there’s a film I’m rooting for. That Shakespeare in Love travesty is a disgrace.

      Also – (don’t know how you feel about this) but The Social Network winning over The Kings Speech. And Mad Max: Fury Road should’ve won last year but that was to be expected :/

      • Mucho Macho

        A movie like “Mad Max: Fury Road” you know it’s not going to be honored so that’s kind of expected. A movie like a “Lord of the Rings” getting an award for best picture or even “Silence of the Lambs” way back in the day ( cause it’s still a horror movie despite of how great it was) it’s just dramas that usually win Oscars for Best Picture.

        I liked “The Social Network” but not as a best picture Oscar winner.
        To me it was an entertaining movie that was well acted & made but wasn’t the greatest thing ever either. I’ve only seen “The King’s Speech” only once and I remember liking it ( I saw it when it came out) but I haven’t seen it since & don’t remember much of it, maybe it’s another film that’s overdue for me to rewatch again.
        I quickly Googled all the movies that were on the list that year nominated cause I didn’t remember and there’s a bunch of them I like more than “the social network”, shit I thought “Inception” was a much better movie and more ambitious for example.

        Right now from the top of my mind I can think of a couple of movies from 2010 that I really liked that just kind of came and went without much fanfare that I think probably need to be talked about more here & deserve more attention. One is “The next three days” starring Russell Crowe which I really like a lot
        https://youtu.be/Dwpw7HJ-XaU

        And the other one is a horror/action film titled “Legion” starring Paul Bettany & the underrated & should be more famous Dennis Quaid
        https://youtu.be/P6p01-in6-k

      • Avenging force

        Social network modern history ,kings speech some studdering English bastard

  • Mucho Macho

    Margot Robbie naked =
    Great Wrist Workout

  • ManlyFannyPack

    The qualudes overdose was hilarious, but the movie kind of sucked. Also it’s probably 10% real, 90% ghost-written fiction by Tommy Chong

  • Progressive Music Lover

    Hey…..the two beta fags that are defending this movie. News flash…..It SUCKED. Now go back to sucking your thumbs you fucking wimps. I can’t wait for your witty comeback that won’t makeup for the disgust you feel every time you ass clowns look in the mirror.

  • I remember liking it, not Jonah Hill. Don’t remember a whole lot of it to be honest. I do like watching movies once the hype train for it has stopped and the dust has settled. Feels easier to see the movie for what it is and not for what it was claimed to be at the time of its release. A lot of movies are hyped up at the time only to be thought of as being forgettable just a couple of short years later. As the saying goes, time reveals all.

  • TheOldMcClane

    the movie sucked.

  • Andymovieman

    The departed and gangs of New York are the only movies I enjoyed with Leonardo di caprio and from Martin Scorsese. I like how Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese collabrated on movies like mean streets, taxi driver, raging bull, goodfellas, casino and cape fear. That collaboration is better than this.

  • Jacob Phillips

    A friend of mine got me to watch it, I thought it was pretty boring and actually never even watched the last half hour or so.