Clicky

Review: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” (2017) – ManlyMovie

Review: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” (2017)

When we are young we have a sense of hopefulness and wonder that unfortunately seems to slowly, gradually disappear as we age. One of the genres of Film, TV and Literature that best captures our imagination as youngsters is science fiction. There is something quite captivating about a good-ol’ space adventure that allows us adults to revert back to being kids and reignite that childlike enthusiasm for the art form and in many ways for other things in life as well.

In 1977 George Lucas introduced Star Wars to the world and pop culture was never the same and me personally, I have not known life without the Star Wars movies. I love the original trilogy and even though “Return of the Jedi” might be the weakest of the trilogy according to many, I still think it’s a great movie. My only complaint and true disappointment to this day is that I believed Darth Vader was the baddest mothafuka in all the galaxies but when he was unmasked by his son Luke, I thought he looked like Humpty Dumpty. To this very fucking day I genuinely believe that they should have kept the fucking mask on.

Needless to say if you were an 80s kid chances were you had Star Wars clothes and toys and I fully admit to being one of those motherfuckers. If you were a boy ( cause back then there were only 2 genders, as opposed to now cause according to some there are about 50,000 of them) you either wanted to be a Jedi or Han Solo and as much as I wanted to have a fucking lightsaber, I always thought Han Solo was a fucking pimp. Not only the man was cool but he put a princess in her place and got to bang her, in a PG way of course, but still, we got the point.

In 1999 George Lucas gave us the first movie of a new Star Wars trilogy “The Phantom Menace” & needless to say, it didn’t quite capture the spirit of the original and unfortunately audiences and fans were subjected to torture by the introduction of one of the most annoying things ever put on film, the character of Jar Jar Binks. George Lucas seemed to be more obsessed and preoccupied with special effects and developing new special effects techniques than developing a good storyline and concentrating on character development. Eventually his prequels got somewhat better but they still did not feel like the old Star Wars movies.

Years passed and as many of you know Lucas sold Star Wars to Disney (who now seems to owe everything from every movie, TV show, cartoons, theme parks to Bangkok prostitutes) and a new Trilogy of films featuring the original cast and other Anthology films were going to be made. Needless to say, fans all around the world were ecstatic.

“The Force Awakens” as expected was a massive success. It also divided some fans, some calling it simply a rehash or a remake of the original. Personally I liked it, it felt like an old Star Wars movie but felt that it could have been better and it missed a lot of opportunities and of course I truly felt that the new young cast could not hold a candle next to the original cast, shit it couldn’t hold a candle next to the prequel’s cast in Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor. It featured the queen of Mary Sue’s characters in cinematic history in Rey. Not only What it took years for Luke Skywalker to learn this bitch just did without any training  and not even a tiny lesson from fucking Yoda. She also told Han Solo how to fucking fly the Millennium Falcon, I mean really?!

But we got to see Harrison Ford again as Han Solo and we got Chewbacca as well and since the new cast were not left to their own devices the entire movie, the movie ended up being entertaining overall and a safe reboot to the franchise I thought. Not a perfect film but a safe and entertaining first chapter to the new trilogy.

“Rogue One” came out a year later and I must say that my expectations were low and when I saw the movie I was pleasantly surprised by it. Again not the greatest of films but a much better film that I had anticipated and one that I think might be a bit of an underrated movie in the Star Wars saga and the female protagonist portrayed by Felicity Jones was not nearly as annoying (at least to me) as Rey from “The Force Awakens”. Plus I got to see my beloved Darth Vader again on the big screen as an evil badass ruling with an iron fist motherfuker and not as a ” Teenage Hayden Christensen temper-tantrum-throwing pussy” like in the prequels.

So now here we are and “The Last Jedi” has been released and I really wanted to see this movie mainly just to see Mark Hamill return as Luke Skywalker after just showing up for a cameo at the end of the last movie.

I didn’t want to be harsh on a movie because it dared to do something different, especially after I just referred  to “The Force Awakens” as safe but I believe “The Last Jedi” is the worst Star Wars movie since “The Phantom Menace”. I’m not shitting on it because it did something different with the characters, I’m shitting on it because the choices are just so wrong.

First of all this is the longest Star Wars movie and in my opinion the most boring one, the so-called story just drags for most of the film, mainly the complete second act. The main actors they got bringing these characters to life & telling the story are not charismatic nor talented enough to carry the film. As a matter of fact that as I was watching this movie I thought to myself “This is a billion plus dollar franchise and these are the jerkoffs they decided to cast in this thing?! If Disney was hiring no talent-nobodies to be in their Star Wars movies, I wish they would have given me a call and hire me cause I would have done it.”

The character of Rey is even a bigger Mary Sue of course, she’s the one giving Luke Skywalker advice now obviously. The Luke Skywalker we remember is no more. That hopeful youngster from the original trilogy is gone, he’s now a grumpy old pessimistic fart that needs Rey to lift his spirits and take him out of his funk.

We got the character of Finn who is now an even bigger pussy than he was in the previous movie. This dweeb tries to do the “Will Smith Shtick” or something but the only thing he succeeds at is being a first class, grade A+ mangina. But wait it gets better, in this movie we don’t get a Han Solo since they just killed him off in the previous one. In this new chapter we have this new character, who is now Finn’s side-kick that I can only describe as an asian female version of Jar Jar Binks. The short fat cunt is that fucking annoying. She was fingernails in the chalkboard of my eyes.

My favorite Star Wars movie is “The Empire Strikes Back” and in this one, the asshole director Rian Johnson who should have never been given the fucking job in the first place judging by this fucking mess, tries to have the same story structure. Rey spends most of the film with Luke and her “training” which just consisted of her lifting a few stones and on the other subplot, Finn and the asian fat midget are doing a public service announcement against Animal Cruelty, when you see the movie or have seen the movie you’ll know what I mean.

Not only that does this movie shits on Luke Skywalker but it also shits on it’s villains. Don’t expect any answers about nothing . You wanted to find out about the character of Snoke…tough shit! You get no answers. Captain Phasma? Tough Shit! No answers. Kylo is now supposed to be the big bad from now on but by constantly being outsmarted by the Mary Sue, you’re not going to have a guy like that be taken seriously as the next Darth Vader. Not to mention that most of the generals & soldiers in the Rebellion are now mostly females. At one point I thought they were fighting the Amazonian Planet of Wonder Woman & Paul Feig directed this movie.

As a Star Wars fan I hope that they get this franchise back on track. But they already wasted a major opportunity in not having the original cast together again throughout an entire movie acting alongside each other which is what old-school fans of the franchise have been waiting for many years. As I was watching “The Force Awakens” you could tell Carrie Fisher was not well. The years of partying hard had taken their toll on Princess Leia and even her speech pattern was off. So her death, even though sad, was of no surprise to me.

“The Last Jedi” gets a lil better in the third act just in my view but the whole movie pretty much ignores everything “The Force Awakens” set up & shits on beloved characters, plus the movie tries too hard to be comedic & fails. One can only hope the next installment is better and I got an idea on how to do that. Instead of killing beloved characters, start killing some of the new assholes that are new to the franchise that are annoying as hell.

4/10

  • Critics love it and fans hate it. This seems to be the consensus norm. I am going to go see this on Friday morning. Thank you for the review Mucho!

  • I was a Star Wars kid, but I haven’t seen any of the new movies. I’m not really sure why either, just not interested in them. I was ‘kinda’ curious to see The Force Awakens, but after I heard about Luke’s cameo, I knew they were going to dangle that carrot in front of us for a while. And apparently we don’t even get to see him have a battle. Wtf. We even got to see Yoda do some shit, but not Luke. Ehh. Can’t summon the enthusiasm for these new movies. And everything I keep hearing about Rey certainly isn’t helping.

    • The Night Rider

      Old man Ford showing up in FA and how his character was handled just proved how gratuitous the whole project was.

  • Jacob Phillips

    Great review Macho. I’ll add this to the long list of recent releases to avoid for ever.

  • French Predator

    4/10 ? How generous.

    • Mucho Macho

      1 reason only..
      Mark Hamill as Luke.
      He did what was asked of him & I was happy to see him again on the big screen.
      But Without him, 1/10
      https://youtu.be/EIY-PsHrj9A

      • The Night Rider

        Here’s the only cool Star Wars thing this year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn8b3MDMjQ4

        • Mucho Macho

          😂
          Cool vid bro,
          I had not seen it before, thanks👍

      • Felton Raiman

        There was one really good scene. When Luke makes fun of Kylo Ren using his Jedi Hologram. He showed him that he’ll never become as smart and powerful as Darth Vader. “See you around kid” phrase was nicely delivered. The pacing in this movie wasn’t all that bad. But the overall story and Star Wars feeling was totally off. John Williams should also retire. Soundtrack was mostly based on his other old music track directly from original trilogy. It seems he’s out of good ideas. And too many wasted ideas. Villains in ep7 were the weakest points of the series but Snoke was probably the most interesting of them. I still can’t understand how could they waste such a character. He has no story no nothing. Maybe Ep9 will fix this. For me Rogue One still remains the best Star Wars film after original trilogy.

        • Mucho Macho

          I was not expecting much from “Rogue One” & I think that’s 1 of the reasons I ended up l liking it so much.

          I like Hamill & that’s why I gave it a couple of extra points. But it’s a shit Star Wars movie. I had not talked nor read people’s reaction to the movie when I wrote the review cause I didn’t want an article to spoil the movie.

          I thought maybe I was gonna be in the minority who didn’t like it or hate it .

      • French Predator

        yeah he took a shit on the flick wich is good.But he’s a libtard.

        • Mucho Macho

          Not every one is perfect..
          😂LOL

          • French Predator

            ahahah

  • The Night Rider

    Haven’t seen it but I simply couldn’t get my head around how Rogue One and Force Awakens got such praise. FA was poor and R1 was mediocre at best. This one must be really bad.

  • Jeff

    The Empire Strikes Back remains my fave to this day. I have not watched any of these new ones since Disney took over.

    • The Night Rider

      This fight scene is the only thing about Star Wars that sticks out in my memory outside the old movies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7w4x3S2lag

      • Mucho Macho

        Darth Maul was cool and deserved better treatment ( deserved to be around longer than 1 movie) & a better movie for sure. Also Williams score for this movie was very good.
        But man do I hate Jar Jar Bitch

  • BradyDeez

    Great review, Mucho. I was disappointed in this movie too. Liked that it took risks – but the risks TLJ took didn’t have any pay off and detracted from the story.

    I thought the good outweighed the bad but there was a lot of cringed, eye rolling moments. The Finn/Rose storyline should’ve been cut out completely.

  • ChrisWhite

    Mediocre Stars movie full poltical correctness and feminism. Terrible script that buries the original saga.
    Without a doubt the worst Star wars movie made by a hipster director who had no clue about the Star Wars universe.

  • Barney Ross

    R rated Star Trek will shit on this garbage

  • Eric Hutchison

    What they did with Luke was not only too predictable, but unforgivable in my opinion. Bottom line, these movies can’t recapture the magic of the originals.

  • Jack Caine

    The movie’s shit. Overlong, unfocused, unfunny and full of crappy subplots and thinly veiled cultural Marxism. Hamill’s the only good thing in it, but even he gets shafted by the hack director. There isn’t even a proper lightsabre duel FFS. George Lucas must be spinning in his grave.

    Now Disney is in damage control mode and all the journalists who embarrassed themselves by giving it 5/5 ratings are claiming the fan backlash is fake. They pwned themselves but they don’t want to admit it. The second weekend drop at the box office should prove how popular or unpopular the film really is.

    My advice is to stay at home and watch the classic original trilogy. Either that or watch Red Letter Media take a 45 minute shit all over the new film. The funny thing is Rian Johnson is a fan of theirs, but they still take a steaming dump on his movie. Now that’s an honest review.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9hwGZFPSmw

  • TheOldMcClane

    The reviews on IMDB are ripping it to shreds: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/reviews?ref_=tt_urv

    And on RT it has a high critic score, but the lowest audience score of any Star Wars film: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_the_last_jedi/#audience_reviews

  • Stig Johansen

    2/10. It actually killed the franchise. I don’t think I have ever seen a bigger political add for marxism and modern feminism, before. Remember in the first 6 movies? R2 and other droid hacked computers and all that. Which…makes 40 minutes of this movie utterly pointless. Luke’s character got assassinated completely as well. and when the writing actually finishes off the story with a bad case of Deus Ex Machina, you know the franchise is dead.

  • Stig Johansen

    Feminists and SJWs are now blaming the poor audience ratings on “An attack from the Alt-Right”. I seem to remember the same thing happening when the new Ghostbusters got bashed. People don’t like a feminist movie. Has to be the Alt-Right!

  • ColonelBobi

    I haven’t seen any of the new new SW movies, this being the 3rd but was a huge SW nerd in the 80’s as a kid. Should I even bother Mucho? The Force Awakens has just popped onto Netflix. Worth a try?

    • Mucho Macho

      I personally liked it. I didn’t love it and I like I wrote in the review it had wasted opportunities and it could have been better but I thought it was entertaining even though some of the younger cast annoyed me.

      I think you should give “Rogue One” a try. Again none of these films are as great as the original trilogy but by streaming it on Netflix you dont have to leave the house& if you dont like it, you just can’t shut it off or switch to something else.

      But “The Last Jedi” is shit I thought

      • ColonelBobi

        Ty Mucho. I’ll give it a go. A sign of the changing generations but I asked my 9yr old daughter to watch the Force Awakens with me and she said ‘nah the SW movies are boring, nothing happens in them’. Sacrilege I know but this generation needs constant action to keep them watching or they’ll be looking at their damn smartphones!

        • Mucho Macho

          I got a 10 year old niece & the only thing that maintains her attention longer than 10 minutes are the stupid apps on her phone and K-pop boy bands so I hear ya’
          😂

  • Shadow

    Solid review Mucho!))) But this one review explained every moment and why it is pure shit!))) check this out guys! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9QJRw56cOVw
    This movie (if I can call it a movie) is probably (no, I’m actually pretty fucking sure now) the WORST big budget movie ever created!!!)))))))) 😂 😁 😂

  • Jocko

    Best Review…Ever

    https://goo.gl/images/GXvcPy

  • AlTeo

    Rian Johnson should stick to making films like Looper

  • Shadow

    Best video in Internet about Last Jedi is shit!!!
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fV_fwnlNPzw

  • Robocop

    1/10 for me. Rian Johnson (the director) and his boss Kathleen Kennedy (head of Lucasfilm) baiscally just took the biggest shit on any movie in the history of film. These two assholes just ruined a 40-year old film franchise. One of the world’s greatest franchises has been reduced to an utter ruin. Star Wars will never again enjoy the level of success it did when George Lucas was in charge.

    FUCK the film critics and the media for defending this piece of shit. They are blaming the Alt-Right, Trump, Russian Hackers, racists, misogynists, etc. for the their own miserable failures. Anyone but themselves and their own egos and selfish, radical politics.