Run Time: 87 mins
What To Expect: Stallone cashes in with agonizing VODmit
This isn’t going to be a very long review because, well, what the hell can you say about an 87 minute slog of VODmit, other than a big name (Sylvester Stallone) briefly, shamefully, showing up? These ambitious thriller screenplays are hand-me-downs for streaming services for a reason; none of the big studios want them. And none of the big studios want them for a reason. Now that DVD and Blu-Ray are dead though, you wonder how these movies are profitable, Stallone’s head will not stand out on a shelf at the grocery store to fool some Boomer who adores his new Blu-Ray player. And since this was barely promoted, who the hell knows it even exists to stream?
Story: Matthew Modine (Pvt. Joker from Full Metal Jacket) engages in a heist of 20,000,000 with some friends (it’s okay, the victims had it coming, or something). When it comes to paying off some thugs their share of the loot, a shoot out ensues and Modine, who has buried most of the money, is grazed in the head. He loses his memory and so the location of 20 million is hidden. When Modine is taken to the nuthouse, years later some crims bust him out and inject him with a new ‘memory serum’. They head to the location of the loot, but some cops are also interested. Not Stallone though, his cop character isn’t crooked, but he’s also barely in the movie.
It’s the same old shit. Get your famous actor and have him show up for 10 lines of dialogue near the start of the movie. Then, get your semi-famous actor and a bunch of Z-listers to fill out the remainder of the movie, with your ‘cover star’ (Stallone) popping up now and again, then bring him back for a ten minute shoot out at the end. Stallone put in about two days work here, tops. But I suppose one thing I will give him is that Stallone doesn’t phone it in, so there’s that. We know Bruce Willis… well, we know all about Bruce Willis!
The screenplay isn’t particularly awful, but the film is boring, ugly (a lot of shit filmed in cheap abandoned factories etc) and the director is inept. And those thinking it is a Stallone movie are being ripped off. How much money does one man need? Or maybe to be more generous, was he under contract or somehow obligated?