Run Time: 90 Mins
What To Expect: Dull trash occasionally lightened by unintentional humor
“A new low”. “Worst one yet”. “Why does Willis do this?” “Can’t stand it”… these strenuous sentences are typically used to open a new Walter_B VODmit release on here. And yet they are not hyperbole as Bruce Willis drops another straight-to-video turd, this one a rip off of Alien, or is it Doom? Regardless it is certainly to be avoided. Here we go again.
The passengers of a space ship come under attack from a stowaway; a near-sighted killer slug. The thing is CGI of course, not that you’ll see it much as it moves between the bowels of its victims, turning them into murderous zombies. Bruce Willis (and his double) play a janitor on the ship, who enjoys swigging out of his whiskey stash with his earnest how the fuck did I get here? face. When the ship is taken over by zombies, Willis must take up arms with his surviving crew mates to stop them.
Surprisingly, Willis is in the movie for the duration (a very sore 90 minutes) but unsurprisingly, he’s wearing the aforementioned scowling, dejected face of disapproval. Some scenes featuring a holographic Willis have him appearing even more aggrieved than usual, with a true I have contempt for this whole miserable affair look on his face, matched with the delivery of his lines. It’s almost like someone is pointing a gun at him off screen.
The production values are lousy, the horror ineffective — is the viewer supposed to be bent in two laughing during scenes of gory terror? Probably not. Sometimes the laughs continue with ever so brief glimpses of the old Willis, such as when he sarcastically asks a zombie if it’s been working out. But in the end, forget it. CGI muzzle flashes, lousy production values, terrible acting.
This stuff has been done better, by other movies. Simply here to report: Another dud. You know when Thomas Jane and Bruce Willis show up in the same movie it’s time for an early night.